Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see ~Mark Twain
Be kind. Be compassionate. Be loving.
Most people associate these rules of engagement with how we interact with others more so than how we treat ourselves.
Often, when stress hits our lives, it’s when we need to be the most kind to ourselves, but ironically, it’s when we’re the hardest. We say things like, “you won’t rest/eat/play until you get this done;” “this is so like you to mess this up;” “why are you so awkward;” “why is this so hard for you;” “you are lazy;” “what’s wrong with you;” “you’re not good enough;” and “you are a fraud.”
And yes, these are all things I have said to myself at some point.
Recently, I had the fortune of experiencing a few disappointments that had me beating myself up unknowingly. I was being unkind to myself which intensified the disappointments (because now instead of the situation disappointed me, I WAS the disappointment, and I was not going to let myself off the hook until I made it better!).
It took some wise people, a supportive network and time to remind me that I needed to be more compassionate to myself. Once I did that, a whole other world opened up for me.
How do you know if you have been or being unkind to yourself?
Here are are some common examples of what we do when we are unkind to ourselves:
So you want to be kinder to yourself but don’t know where to start? Here are a few considerations...
Do you consider yourself a compassionate person? If so, Is there a difference in the way you exercise compassion for yourself versus others? I would love to hear your thoughts.